Nexterday News

No one on the 35, 36 or 37 floors of the Freedom Tower would have guessed that there was bounty on the head of janitor Mohammad Osama.  According to workers on those floors Mr. Osama would always bring a smile to the workers faces.  Those that talked to him heard the story of a child who had to compete with his siblings for their fathers attention and of a man who worked until he was 70 as a teacher and community leader in Afghanistan just to move to the United States were he works as a Janitor

“He always would say it was his honor to clean our office.  He valued a hard days work and even though he was twice the age of many of the other janitors, he didn’t mind staying late or coming early.”  Said Lou Lopez, director of janitorial services at Freedom Tower.  “It’s hard to think of a more model employee”

The Nexterday news investigative reporting team has uncovered the true identity of Mohammad Osama, on this the 25th anniversary of the 9.11 attacks.  Believed killed in 2001, 2005, 2006, 2011, 2013, and 2021, It has come to our attention that for the past 3 years Osama Bin Laden has worked for Romney Janitorial Services as a Janitor inside Freedom Tower, located on the former site of the World Trade Center towers as Mohammad Osama.

Mr. Bin Laden’s current whereabouts are unknown, though FBI Director Kevin L. Perkins has promised that he will be found and that the USA makes no distinction between terrorists and nations harboring terrorists.  Our sources inside the Pentagon indicate that plans are currently being drawn up to bomb New York, Chicago and Los Angeles if the United States does not fully cooperate with finding Mr. Bin Laden.

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