Nexterday News

Crawford, TX – Early 2000’s president George H.W. Bush recently conceded that global warming is real and presents a problem. On the way to his annual fishing trip a visibly distraught Bush remarked, “Are we there yet?” The answer from his wife was a resounding no, as they had not yet passed over the Great Gulf Desert to reach the ocean in St. Louis, MO. The former president shook his head saying, “this global warming thing sucks, c’mon Laura let’s just go to Long John Silvers…”

Policies still awaiting realization that they were misguided: his triumphant “any day now” policy in Iraq, his “mine’s bigger” policy toward Iran, his “bite me” policy towrds the UN, and the famed “oh, so you’ve never lost control of a nuke-ya-ler missile and it accidentally hit Rhode Island before” policy.

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