Nexterday News

Austin, TX (NDNS) — Officials at the newly opened George W. Bush Presidential Library have announced the completion of a series of books written by former President George W. Bush.  Library spokesperson Ari Fleischer said of the books, “They’re part autobiographical, part philosophical,  and part how-to.  I’d recommend them to anyone interested in Presidential history, political doctrine, or how-to make war popular.”

Nexterday News was able to obtain a copy of the first book, “How to Successfully Run for President,” which is slated to be released next Tuesday.  The 527-Page tome outlines several successful strategies on which he based his election and re-election campaigns.  It was extremely insightful as to how his mind works.  Chapters Include; Chapter One:  Hire Karl Rove, Chapter 5:  Call Your Opponent a Pussy Without Actually Calling Him a Pussy, Chapter 10:  How to Use a Major Religion to Your Advantage, Chapter 41:  Have Your Daddy Do it First, and Chapter 43:  Act dumb; Americans Love a Dumbass.

The book is surprisingly frank in nature but as President Bush stated in the book’s epilogue/coloring section, “Screw it!  It’s not like I need to win another election, and history books are for pussies anyway.”

His other books to be released over the course of the next few years also have the “How To…” theme; they include:

…Graduate Harvard and Yale (Not Necessarily in That Order)

…Be President

…Successfully Manage a Major League Baseball Team

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