Nexterday News

Washington, DC (NDNS) — A century ago, our ancestors fought a long and brutal war against Nazi Germany; a hundred years later, fascism’s decedent, the American Nazi Party (ANP), is finally starting to take a toe-hold in American politics. How can this be so? With images of death camps still fresh in people’s minds, because death camp photos don’t tend to be easily erased, even a hundred years later, how can people support a group that identifies with National Socialism, Adolf Hitler, and the Holocaust?Last week I spoke with Hans Von Tropp, a high ranking member of the ANP, who has a thick silly sounding German accent, “You see, ve (sic) now consider ourselves a very, how you say, “progressive” organization. Ve (sic) are no longer for ze (sic) extermination of ze (sic) Jews. But, ve (sic) are for ze (sic) extermination of burdensome taxes, ze (sic) extermination of abortion, ve (sic) are for protecting human life at every stage; born, unborn, or Jew it does not matter. Oh, and ve (sic) are for ze (sic) extermination of global varming (sic) because it is responsible for ze (sic) extermination of ze (sic) Polar Bear; the grand symbol of Aryan supremacy.”

Currently, the group is polling at a five-percent approval rating in the United States. Not nearly enough to garner enough support to elect a President, or the local dog catcher at that. But, people still find it worrisome that there are five-percent of Americans who would support them, such as Democratic strategist Wilford McMillan, “It has taken one-hundred years for this group to get five-percent approval in this country. At this rate, we should probably start worrying in about five-hundred years. But, it could grow faster, their anti-tax and pro-environment messages really resonates with voters. But, seriously, I’d vote for a Republican before I’d vote for these guys. And, I know I’ve often likened my Republican opponents as Nazi’s; for that, I was wrong. At least Republicans have never actively or publicly called for the extermination of any race. Though, I still have my doubts about what they say in private. But, that’s just speculation. You’re not going to print that last part right?”

Nexterday did manage to find one man who would go on the record with us about his support of the ANP, a Billy Bob Dirkins of Jackson, Mississippi, “Well, I don’t like taxes, and I don’t like global warming. I really do miss the Polar Bear, they were white like me!”

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