Nexterday News

Eugene, OR (NDNS) — When one looks at picturesque Eugene, Oregon, one sees trees, homes, and the ubiquitous wind-turbine towers that provide the majority of energy to homes in the United States.  Except for one.  Randell Tuskberger has replaced his wind-turbine generator with a massive gasoline generator that was made in the early-21st century.  “When I was a kid, we had most of our energy provided by fossil fuels, and we had an unending supply.  But, the hippies took over and made us all switchover to “renewable” sources of energy.  Gasoline is renewable too!  You just had to go to, what we called back then, a “gas station,” and almost like magic we had more gas!”

Mr. Tuskberger’s neighbors are not as amused by this contraption.  Such as Sally Walters, “It’s loud, it’s noisy, it scares my children, and is an eyesore.”

Scientists we spoke to were also very skeptical of Mr. Tuskerberger’s claims; say Dr. Ralph Durst, “That man is retarded.”  He then added, “No, I’m serious, I’m convinced he’s retarded.  Gasoline isn’t a renewable resource.  Thousands of lives were lost as a result of trying to secure oil fields in the Middle East.   Thousands, if not millions more died or became sick as a result of the pollutants released into the air.  Now, one man running a gasoline generator, isn’t a big deal; but, what if others like the idea?  He would know this was a bad idea if only he’d wear his Apple iGlasses.  Oh, and Apple pays me a lot of money to end my conversations with references to their products.”

So far, others all think the idea is pretty stupid.

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