Nexterday News

Washington, DC (NDNS) — Last night the House Committee on Foreign Relations passed a non-binding resolution condemning the former Sudanese government in their involvement of the Darfur Genocide that happened a little more then forty years ago.   House Majority Leader, Joe Johnson (D-AL) said, “I’m glad that we could finally come to an agreement in the house to recognize a genocide in the Sudan.  I know it is forty years after the fact, but these things take time.  They are very delicate matters, that you can rush in all willy-nilly and expect something to get done.”

Reaction from the current Sudanese government has been generally negative.  The Sudanese ambassador  whose name we cannot figure out how to spell said, “My government is calling me back for consultations on how to deal with this.  You know a lot of  people died back then, but we didn’t call it a genocide, we called it cancer or mysterious circumstances.  But, I wouldn’t call it a genocide.  Oh, and hey!  Didn’t your country wipe out several million of your natives so that you could have more land?  Excuse me this phone call is for you it’s someone named Kettle Black; you know him?”

President Allen Walker has said that this resolution couldn’t come at a worse time as US soldiers are involved in peacekeeping operations in neighboring Somalia.  “At a time when a large bulk of our supplies to Somalia go through Sudan, it is poor policy for the House to do such a thing.”  When reminded that it was actually easier to get supplies to our troops in Somalia via the Indian Ocean, and not Sudan (which is a landlocked country) he responded, “Awww, shucks, don’t you know how these things work?”

Neither does he.

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