Nexterday News

Hollywood, CA (NDNS) — Management for the rock band InXtreme announced today that they will be releasing the band’s “Greatest Hits” album during the second week of May. The only problem with this is that, it is their first album and have never had any hit songs.

Lead singer Snake Ripley said, “Well, I know we’ve never put out an album, per say. But, there have been a lot of bootlegs out there, and they’ve been really well received by our dozens and dozens of fans that we’ve met across this amazing country of America. And, putting out this “Greatest Hits” album can really help us connect with a whole new segment of people out there who have been unfortunate enough not be be able to listen to our rockin’ jams in all their rock glory.”

Tracks on the upcoming album will include; Talk Unclean to Me, Mulling the Mullet, The Super-Awesome Rock Band Known as InXtreme, and Audio of the Band Arguing With a Club Manager Who Did Not Like Them Very Much.

Rock critic, Barnes Noble from Splinder Magazine had this to say about InXtreme’s upcoming album, “It’s pure (expletive deleted), total excrement. How can a band, that no one’s ever heard of put out a “Greatest Hits” record? It’s preposterous I say. I’m sure the M-Tee-Vee crowd will love it, but they’re all (expletive deleted)-ing ‘tards anyway. Piss off!”

When told of the comments of Mr. Noble the band’s manager Ron Decline was furious, “That no talent hack said what? (Expletive deleted) that (expletive deleted)-ing (expletive deleted)-er! All that guy can do is write, but can he make hit records? No! Only I can create hit records! The rest are all imitators! Traitors to the glory of rock and roll! Phil Spector, pfft (sic) he learned everything from me, except how to cover up a murder. Rick Rubin, the long beard was created by me and ZZ Top! Kanye! Yeah, well I suppose he’s fairly decent. But! He doesn’t do Rock and a Rolla (sic)! The real rock fans out there, and you know who they are, know real Rock when they see it, and they see it in InXtreme!“

“Real Rock Fan” Angel Harris, a 14-year old girl from Greenwich, Connecticut, said, “Oh, may (sic) gawd (sic)! I just saw these guys, no, these, like rock gauds (sic)! I saw InXtreme on TRL, they are sooooo (sic) rock (sic). And, Snake is sooooo (sic) dreamy!”

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