Nexterday News

Beijing, China (NDNS) — The Chinese Ministry of Science announced that four days after the successful launch of a Long March 6 rocket, they have finally landed Chinamen on the moon. The Chinamen Astronauts (or, as they preferred to be called, “Taikonauts”) are apparently annoyed at American media for repeatedly calling them “Chinamen.”

“This is very displeasing to us. We are men, who happen to be Chinese. We find the term degrading. You’re just upset that we’re the first men on the moon in the twenty-first century. And, that you can’t even get your rockets off the ground.” Said Taikonaut Xi Xichang, commander of the Communist Moon Mission.

NASA spokesperson Randy Elliot released this statement on behalf of NASA, “Whoop-de-(expletive deleted)! We did that in the sixties, the nine-teen sixties with vacuum tube powered computers and a rocket that we were fairly certain would explode. We’ve been there, done that. We’re focused on going back to the International Space Station for now. Now, that’s an achievement! And, if you want to help us with that achievement donations can be sent in via our website, www.NASA.gov, anything would really be appreciated. Last weeks bake sale did not go as well as could be expected. Stan’s Mom forgot to bake the lemon wedges.”

Mr. Elliot was obviously referencing that since the retirement of the Space Shuttles in 2012 and the utter failure that was Project Orion, Americans have not been able to launch a manned space flight in ten years. During the Bush Administration, NASA set a goal for reaching back to the Moon two years ago, but as of now seem two decades away from that goal.

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