Nexterday News

Somewhere, TX (NDNS) – In response to a well organized, 2-year long boycott of the Jimmy Dean Sausage Co. by the State of Texas, this guy (click) has finally won. Apparently John Doe Texan recruited enough of his family, friends, and neighbors to finally stick it to the man at Jimmy Dean when Dean Co. re-introduced its 16-oz. sausage packages.

Regarding the boycott, spokesman Raymond Thurgood of Jimmy Dean Sausage Co. told NDNS yesterday, “Look, I have no idea what the big deal is but these people are nuts. Have your 16-oz. sausage and shut up. Honestly though why would you need THAT much sausage for one breakfast if you already have two dozen eggs and a “Got-damn T-Bone steak”. With 4.8 eggs per person, 2.4 oz. of beef, and 2.4 oz. of sausage do you really NEED that extra 4 oz.? Would you like angioplasty with that?”

When reached by NDNS, John Doe Texan said, “Yeeeeee-hah! I’m finally gonna go git me some man sized sausage! With 600 pounds of man in my house we love eating Jimmy’s man sized sausage all day long.” The irony of his words had apparently escaped him.

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