Nexterday News

Beijing, China (NDNS) –  Advocacy group, People Against the Inhuman Treatment of People in China (P.A.I.T.P.C) came out today blasting the latest decree by the Communist Chinese Government that stated that citizens who “spread rumors” or “endanger the public safety” when sending mind-text messages will be subject to arrest by the Chineses People’s Police Force (CPPF).  The expatriate group based out of Taiwan has stated that China’s crackdown against mind-texting is a serious affront to human rights, especially since the punishment involves confiscation of the frontal lobe, and the family of the offender is then charged for the cost of the full-frontal lobotomy.

P.A.I.T.P.C spokes person Xi Xenu said to Nexterday, “The government of the so called People’s Republic on the mainland is acting like they’re Joe Kennedy and their retarded daughter is the two billion people of China.  This is an outrage!”  Mr. Xenu making reference to the father of late US President John Kennedy, Joseph Kennedy, who had John’s older, retarded, sister receive a lobotomy.

China’s Minister of Foreign Public Relations Mitch Tucker (formerly the Governor of Hawaii, a former US State) stated, “When citizens create instability amongst other citizens against the people, we the government, the protectors of the great people, must step in to do something about it.  And, it is only fair to then charge the family of the offender the cost of the punishment, since because of their bad influences caused the offender to attack the people of China.  And, that offender must no longer be able to send mind-texts that rot the brains of others who would not like to get such a mind text.”

The citizens of the former US State of Hawaii have become rather outraged by this claiming that it is a violation of their First Amendment rights, which they actually no longer have since coming under Chinese rule three years ago.

Mind-texting is a cellular service that is very much like a text-message that you might receive on your cell phone, except it is sent and encoded directly into the brain so that when in noisy clubs or bars you can be sure to always receive your messages.  The technology has become very popular throughout China, and most of Asia, while so far not reaching much popularity in the United States and Europe because of the rather invasive surgery that it takes to install the mind-texting device; and because of the large instances of tumors that it creates inside the brain.  And, will probably never take hold in Africa because everyone there died of AIDS 2:  The Super AIDS 13 years ago.

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