Nexterday News

Los Angeles, CA (NDNS) - Two weeks ago, we reported that the Writer’s Guild of America strike finally came to an end seventeen years after it began. That news was followed by the announcement of an original program returning to the datastream, effectively ending reality programming’s sixteen year reign. Doofati Entertainment was revealed to be the producer of the top-secret series, the details of which were being kept under wraps.

Until now.

This morning, Bill Frederik of Doofati Entertainment spilled the beans on what is being called The Seinfeld Chronicles. It will be a remake of the early 1990s beloved sitcom Seinfeld.

“What better way to celebrate the end of the strike than by recreating a television hallmark?” Doofati said at a press conference. “After the strike we immediately went into negotiations with the Seinfeld estate and secured the rights. Everybody attached to this project is very excited.”

The Seinfeld Chronicles, Frederik promises, will be darker and grittier than it’s original counterpart, though still staying true to it’s roots as a comedy.

“Try not to think of it as a remake,” Frederik said. “It’s more of a re-imagining. We’ve assembled a stellar team of writers each with their own unique vision to give the show a sense of edgy consistency.”

Perhaps the most controversial move comes from the casting department, who, Frederik said, chose to recast Kramer as female.

“Kramer was a beloved icon of the 90s, and we didn’t want to touch the Kramer character,” he said. “However, viewers should now expect to laugh and cry at at antics of Carla Kramer. We expect it will add a bit of ambiguity to Jerry and George’s relationship with the character.”

While three of the four cast members from the original are still alive and well, none have been contacted about possible cameos or guest spots. Frederik said he hopes to soon approach Jerry Seinfeld with the possibility of him taking up the role of Jerry’s father on the show, Morty, but nothing is official.

Many television analysts are surprised and disappointed by the announcement, wishing that Doofati Entertainment had instead developed something original to celebrate the end of the strike and a return to creativity.

Los Angeles, CA (NDNS) - For the first time since 2009, a scripted television show has made the fall 2026 schedule. This news follows the deal made on Friday, where the Writers Guild of America finally resolved their strike with the Association of Motion Picture and Television Producers.

The Writers Guild went on strike against the Association of Producers in late 2007 when the producers refused to pay them for written television shows shown on the Internet. After seventeen years, both sides were glad to have finally made an agreement last week.

“It became a moot point,” an AMPTP spokeswoman said on Friday in regards to the strike. “We won. The Internet has been replaced, and we didn’t pay the writers a dime. Collectively, we only made thirty trillion dollars since streaming television was introduced. Yet without a sustainable business model, there just wasn’t enough to go around.”

So far, only one scripted pilot is on the books for this fall. The details about the show are being kept under wraps, but it’s believed it will be a lighter fare, perhaps even an old fashioned situation comedy, once referred to as a “sitcom.”

“We don’t want to do anything too edgy,” Bill Frederik of Doofati Entertainment, the company behind the pilot, said. “For seventeen years all we’ve had is reality programming. We want to gage what the public is ready for in terms of a scripted story.”

Many have taken Frederik’s statement to mean the American public has been dumbed down during the almost two decades the writers have been on strike. Reality television shows are often spontaneous and unscripted and therefore flourished when the networks needed programming to fill the time once used by written fare, and have often been looked down upon as mindless entertainment.

The untitled pilot will be available this fall among the usual suspects: American Idol XXIV, Survivor: The Moon, Iraq’s Next Top President, Extreme Makeover: Robot Edition, and Swirling Colors Accompanied by Strange Sounds.

No one on the 35, 36 or 37 floors of the Freedom Tower would have guessed that there was bounty on the head of janitor Mohammad Osama.  According to workers on those floors Mr. Osama would always bring a smile to the workers faces.  Those that talked to him heard the story of a child who had to compete with his siblings for their fathers attention and of a man who worked until he was 70 as a teacher and community leader in Afghanistan just to move to the United States were he works as a Janitor

“He always would say it was his honor to clean our office.  He valued a hard days work and even though he was twice the age of many of the other janitors, he didn’t mind staying late or coming early.”  Said Lou Lopez, director of janitorial services at Freedom Tower.  “It’s hard to think of a more model employee”

The Nexterday news investigative reporting team has uncovered the true identity of Mohammad Osama, on this the 25th anniversary of the 9.11 attacks.  Believed killed in 2001, 2005, 2006, 2011, 2013, and 2021, It has come to our attention that for the past 3 years Osama Bin Laden has worked for Romney Janitorial Services as a Janitor inside Freedom Tower, located on the former site of the World Trade Center towers as Mohammad Osama.

Mr. Bin Laden’s current whereabouts are unknown, though FBI Director Kevin L. Perkins has promised that he will be found and that the USA makes no distinction between terrorists and nations harboring terrorists.  Our sources inside the Pentagon indicate that plans are currently being drawn up to bomb New York, Chicago and Los Angeles if the United States does not fully cooperate with finding Mr. Bin Laden.